“Finding a long-term partner is the most important decisions you will ever make in your life. It’s actually a good thing to question it. Learning how to know if he’s the one allows you to look at your relationship in a new light.” – Lianne Avila, marriage counselor.
In case you still do not understand the importance of keeping a relationship, you might as well consider taking a step back and think about things through. I am not saying that you have to spend an amount of time and effort trying to figure out if your relationship is working or not. All I am trying to say is that you should take a moment to process the problems of your relationship internally. Admit it. You often look outside of the box. You focus too much on the factors that damage your relationship, such as pressure, incompatibility, minor disagreements, and so on. However, you do not intend to evaluate how you react when it comes to engaging with relationship issues.
Never Ever Speak Ill About Your Partner To People You Both Know
“When someone talks kindly and favorably about us, we typically stand up straighter and feel called to higher character,” Jessica Higgins, Ph.D said. “When someone speaks negatively about us, we tend to feel hurt, angry, defensive and resentful.” She’s frequently heard partners say: “If you are going to call me a jerk, I am going to act like a jerk.”
I guess it is normal for you to talk to your friends and family about your relationship situation. Understandably, there is some emotional and mental struggle that needs to come out. But what is not okay is when you intentionally or unintentionally speak ill about your significant other. There is no amount of excuse for that. Not only you are damaging your partner’s reputation, but you are also giving people a wrong impression of your way of handling specific relationship situation. Blaming your significant others for the inconsistencies of the relationship and shoving it to people will not solve anything. Instead, it will only create a more extensive gap that both you and your partner might never patch.
“Excessive complaining doesn’t usually occur in one area, like relationships,” said Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT. “Those who complain tend to have a habit of doing so in life.”
Never Ever Post Any Relationship Issues On Social Media
Yeah right. You are only trying to express emotions and current mood on your wall. There is nothing personal with that. Therefore, you do not genuinely have to worry about what others might say or think about your status. But is that how you entirely see it? Seriously, if you can’t keep your relationship private, then do not be in a relationship. If you do not understand the meaning of privacy, then do not commit to the responsibility of keeping things in a low profile. Yes, you can brag it online and tell people how good your relationship is. But never post your issues on social media because honestly, nobody cares. You are only trying to ruin yourself by allowing people to comment on your rant.
Never Ever Believe What People Tell You About Your SO
If there is one thing you need to do to keep your relationship healthy; that is never, ever to believe what people tell you about your significant other. But, not unless they have proof to support their unfavorable claim towards your partner, allow yourself to have the benefit of the doubt. Ask your partner about it and have a sincere conversation. But if there’s not much evidence to support anything malicious, then never believe what people say. You and your SO are on the same team so you should work together. Remember, one false accusation can lead to emotional and mental destruction.
Stabilizing a relationship takes quite a lot of effort. But it doesn’t mean you can’t work on it.