Couples counseling is not complicated. Basically, it is a specialized form of talk therapy wherein two individuals consult a counselor to discuss how they are doing as a couple. Generally, it is meant for two individuals who are in an intimate relationship. Still, it can also be utilized by any two individuals who want to enhance a relationship, like two business colleagues or two members of the family.
Couples counseling works to vividly assist you in seeing the current state of your relationships vividly, getting a clear sense of what you want to change, and allowing you to connect and reduce the gap. This type of counseling is dynamically distinct from individual counseling, as three people are conversing in the room yet share the same principles – code of ethics, privacy, and an emphasis on you and your needs. It does not involve the views or suggested outcomes of the counselor.
What It Does
Receiving couples counseling helps you get a better perspective of one another and relate to each other. You also get to learn new means of being a couple. Couples counseling entails skills work that will assist you to do things differently and help you unravel your thoughts and emotions with your loved one. It emphasizes appreciation and exploring challenges, so be ready to remember the things you value and love about one another and see your partner with kindness and affection.
What It Does Not Do
Couples counseling is not a magic pill. It needs to be invested with modesty, valor, and honesty. Frequently, couples receiving counseling accuse each other of their problems – it’s not uncommon for partners to start disagreeing in front of their counselor.
Another thing that a couples counselor is not is being passive. A couple’s counselor may interfere with shifting the focus on action and discernment. For both you and your partner, this usually entails letting go of permanent perceptions and taking a step back to view the process regarding the way you interact. Keep in mind that couples counseling is not a platform to evade emotions. By unraveling your emotions and looking for various viewpoints, couples counseling will help you decide what you can change.
More importantly, this type of counseling is not suitable where relationships are violent or sadistic. If a violent dynamic is recognized, the counselor helps you with continuous referrals to receive the help you require, with care and protection as a primary significance.
The most typical concern is complications in communicating. Everyone knows that it’s not hard to learn unnecessary habits that signify we do not hear what our partners are saying and we feel polarized in our own perception of the world. That being said, communication difficulties can become a contributing factor or a replication of several concerns that couples tackle in the room, some of which include:
- Trust issues
- Disparities in goals and values
- Disparities in parenting styles
- Financial problems
- Problems associated with work
- Life modifications, such as illness, bereavement, etc.
- Family disagreement
- Sexual problems
- Politics or religion
The counselor’s task is to assist you in getting around and under these problems to manage what’s actually happening between both of you. Beyond these matters, you are in the course of connecting, and it is in discovering and growing that you can see a change in how you resolve your issues.
Probing Into Your Relationship
It could be beneficial to be aware of the various areas of your relationship. For instance, you can emphasize:
- The way you perceive the degree of commitment with one another
- How you resolve arguments
- The way you make compromises
- The way you communicate
- The way you care and encourage yourselves and one another
- The way you grow together
The general course of couples counseling can be defined as one of action-planning, joint exploration, and expression. The ultimate result from counseling is that you would be prepared to do this together for the moment and for years to come.
Occasionally, however, as a consequence of couples counseling, people decide to cease the relationship. Counseling then can accomplish a role in assisting couples so that they end well and deal with matters that are significant to them.
It’s Not Always About You
Sometimes, we can turn a blind eye because we don’t want to recognize what’s really happening. With couples counseling, it’s difficult to mislead the counselor or even yourself because not only is how you manage there in the room being analyzed, but your partner could also express how they feel and think, giving light into aspects you think are not comfortable.
Couples counseling is inclined to develop more rapidly compared to individual counseling. It also veers towards being more stimulating and dynamic. Experts suggest that you start with the end in mind. When you have a robust purpose for seeking counseling, you will be more open to discovering and unraveling.