“Forgiveness is letting go of the need for revenge and releasing negative thoughts of bitterness and resentment,” according to Lynn Ponton, MD.
There is a thin line between forgiveness and tolerance. That is especially when your romantic relationship is the one causing an emotional and mental imbalance to your overall development. If you and your significant other are contributing damage to each other instead of growth, it becomes a reason that both of you should consider moving away from each other. With that said, the choice of ending a relationship is a must in this particular circumstance. But what if your partner has no idea of what is entirely going on? What if your loved one is still in the process of trying to understand the necessity of adjustments? Will you be able to excuse yourself for deciding to call it quits?
In all honesty, there is no such thing as an unintentional breakup. Both you and your partner end up separating because both or one of you decides to finish whatever it is that holds the relationship. No one can blame who for leaving, and no one can force the other one to stay. But if you are the one who decides to cut ties and move away, your explanation is more than needed. Perhaps you feel uncomfortable, or you are not happy anymore. Whatever your reasons are, one thing will only state it – personal choice.
“As you build up your confidence and regroup, you’ll get clearer about what you want next. Some pieces from your past may continue onward, but some may completely change. Be selective about what you bring along for the ride and trust the process as it unfolds. Don’t cling.” This is from counselor Victoria Gigante, Ed.M.
The Validation Of The Final Decision
Let us assume that your romantic relationship is full of shit. There is toxicity everywhere that makes you feel vulnerable to too much anxiety, stress, and depression. With all that pressure, you feel entitled to end whatever it is you have romantically. But then you delay the decision because there is a part of you that tells you should wait and be patient. With that, you are going to do things over again. Is that worth the risk? Well, for some people, they believe that the right to end a relationship depends on its level of unhealthiness. But who can determine what those things are? No one! That is the reason they come up to a deciding point to call the relationship off when it is already too late.
“There is great value in mastering the skill of forgiving but not forgetting. Taking good care of ourselves requires regular forgiveness of others. Remember, we do it for us, not for them. And we don’t obsess, but we don’t forget, either, so we can take the valuable life lessons with us.” – Kurt Smith, Psy.D., LMFT, LPCC, AFC,
You see, if there is no need to worry about; then do not worry. You are not and never will be guilty of choosing your overall health. You do not hold any explanation as to why you prefer peace and mindfulness over a toxic relationship. You do not have to feel uncomfortable with the decision of choosing your emotional and mental development. Regardless of what is on the line, it does not matter. You have to live with your peace and stay true to yourself.
No one can tell when a relationship reaches its full toxicity. There may be signs that can determine it, but it can never be a guarantee to become a turning point. However, one thing is sure. Nobody deserves a painful and stressful commitment. It is not right to stay in a disturbing situation only to tell yourself that you are indeed in a relationship.