Finding a partner in life is crucial in determining your wellbeing. It is vital in keeping you healthy, sane, and successful. If you want to have a peaceful and happy life, you better make sure the partner you get is someone that will bring you positivity in life instead of causing you stress or depression.
“Depression is not a weakness of character, laziness, or a phase. Tough love, like telling someone to ‘buck up’ or ‘try harder,’ doesn’t work, and worsens the illness,” according to Deborah Serani, PsyD.
What Does A Depressive Husband Sound Like?
- You Are Always The Follower
Nobody likes being told what to do. We even work hard in our jobs to be able to achieve the highest position. Even at home, being bossed around is not something to look forward. You can always tell a polite request from a command.
There are worse scenarios where “please” and “honey” do not mean anything anymore. For instance, your husband says, “Honey, can you get me the screwdriver from the cabinet, please?” while you are mopping the floor. Why would he ask you to do something for him when he knows you’re also doing something? Imagine being told to hand over the remote when it’s just on top of the TV, and you’re in the kitchen. No! It’s not exaggerating. These things happen!
- Your Partner Controls You
A husband is the head of the family but doesn’t give him the right to control you. You still own your decisions, and he has to respect that. When you have your job, and he still meddles with how you are going to spend your money, or he gets mad at you for buying something for yourself that he doesn’t know about is a depressing situation.
A husband and a wife should have mutual respect, but if one of you tries to take away the power or the right of the other, depression is likely to happen. Some other examples of this are when he tries to stop you from meeting your friends or visiting your family. Eventually, you will naturally think he’d get mad if you ask, so you would rather not and be the “good girl” that he wants you to be.
- You Are Never Right
Everyone makes mistakes, and it is essential that you admit and apologize if you make one. It is also okay for one to be always right, just as long as he is indeed right and not because he needs to be right. Some people would insist they are right even though it is evident that they made a mistake. They are way too arrogant to admit they made a mistake, so they’ll go their way to stand firm and fight for what they want to prove. This type of person is toxic, and someone who lives with this kind of person will be likely to develop poor self-esteem and eventually depression.
- Your Partner Is Always Resentful
He is always grumpy regardless of what time of the day. He is irritable in the morning when he wakes up and still irritable when he comes home from work. It seems you are always on the lookout for the white flag or any sign that he is in the mood for a decent conversation.
“People often don’t realize that depression isn’t just one thing. It can have different causes and presentations. Some people look sad, others are more irritable, some withdraw, and others seem restless.” —Lisa Moses, PsyD, licensed clinical psychologist.
An irritable person is challenging to live with as it makes you question yourself, “Am I annoying, what have I done wrong, what should I do to make him happy?” If you ask yourself these questions, you are on your way to being depressed one of these days, so you better ask yourself, “Does he even ask himself these questions?” just out of love and care for you.
- Your Partner Is Like Your Eldest Child
Does he help in the house? Does he help you with the kids when he hears you screaming already? Does he take out the trash when you have a lot of other things to do? If yes, then congratulations! You have found a great partner in life!
On the contrary, if your partner doesn’t mind if you already look like a pack of lions has chased you, and he’s still on his phone giggling over a meme on Facebook, then you are in big trouble. It means you will be raising your eldest child!
If one or more of the above situations sound like yours, don’t wait until they cause you depression. “Mental health disorders are real, significant, and common. We need to do a much better job of looking out for people with depression, educating the public to take them seriously and to understand how important it is to get connected with a licensed mental health professional for help. Because great help exists, if people are willing to seek it out.” —Simon Rego, PsyD.
Confront your partner and tell him how you feel. Communication is, after all, crucial to keeping a relationship harmonious. Sometimes, you need to give him a clear “Wait a minute. What you’re doing is not okay with me anymore. Stop, or you’ll see me walk out that door!”