Theirs is no perfect relationship. Everybody wants to believe that some people can genuinely live a peaceful and uncomplicated one, but it is always farther from reality. Couples deal with specific individual differences. They struggle to keep their mental and emotional health intact because of the uncertainties they can’t handle alongside the wrong decisions they make. Sometimes, it gets even more complicated when relationship problems involve hard-to-solve issues such as abuse, infidelity, parental alienation, neglect, etc.
Fortunately, struggling couples can still have a chance to cope with the challenges. Of course, they have to acknowledge that there is something wrong before proceeding to do what is right for the relationship. Good thing that couple’s therapy can assist them with that. So without further ado, here are the few legit pieces of advice therapists would recommend couples to solve their relationship issues.
Always Talk About Everything
It becomes easy for most couples to let go of some little things that perhaps are not that of a big deal. Some situations may require both not to discuss anything since not much of an impact is taken. Unfortunately, that is one of the most common mistakes that couples make. They believe that small issues like money struggles, chores, emotional neglect, or playing the blame game will not affect the relationship. They do not know that those little misunderstandings eventually take a toll on the destruction of communication. When couples do not pay attention to it, it leads to fights, resentment, and frustration. It can make one or both feel unheard and invalidated.
Communication is the core of every relationship. Therefore, couples should talk and discuss things regardless of how small it is. Because it is not about the degree of the issue that matters, it is about the idea of being open with one another. Couples should always have a meaningful conversation because that is the only way to move towards better relationship resolution, specifically personal differences.
Let Go Of Unrealistic Expectations
The more complicated and overwhelming the situation gets, the more couples become emotionally immature. It justifies couples’ anticipation to play loads of major roles in each other’s lives. But the reality is that not both can advocate fairness at all times. There will always be that moment where one benefits and one sacrifices. Unfortunately, most relationships are not entirely following a “give and take” order. And to be honest, give and take seldom happens because one or both the couples feel entitled to the relationship that they hold too many expectations.
By that, therapists would genuinely suggest that couples should lower down expectations and look for ways differently. Both should create a different perspective regarding what their partners can mentally, physically, and emotionally provide wide in the open. Sometimes, the relationship’s growth only requires both accepting and appreciating one capability and not desiring more than that. So it would be best if both individuals in a serious relationship focus on what’s currently in front of them.
Never Allow Each Other To Grow Apart
Some say that relationships evolve as time goes by. And the more people commit to their partners, the more they will feel secured and satisfied. Too bad that is not always the case. In most instances, the reason behind every relationship complication is due to the couple’s drifting apart. And the main factor affecting that drift is the inability to realize that it is happening. For some reason, couples often do not see how small changes can greatly impact their relationship. They fail to see that there is always a danger to “I’m not in the mood,” “I want to be alone,” and “I’m okay.”
Experts often advise that couples should learn to notice the signs of a failing relationship aside from making a meaningful conversation. That way, they can immediately act on it. But they should be mindful not to get over-involved with their partners in every decision in life as it may somehow lead to the feelings of losing one’s individuality and sense of self-accomplishment. Couples need to grow individually, but they should introduce change gradually so both can share accountability.
It is essential to realize that every couple deals with different relationship issues despite problems and solutions appearing similar on the outside. Everyone handles their problems in a way that others might not agree. But regardless of the resolution, individuals must speak up about what they are mentally and emotionally going through. Despite being in a relationship, they should still set boundaries and adhere to them as much as possible. That way, they can take their time to rethink and reevaluate the flow and necessary adjustments needed in the relationship. If couples might deal with their struggles on their own, they can always consider couples therapy.