Relationships bring both joy and depression. When we are enjoying our time with our romantic partner, our world appears to be very colorful. But when couples argue, those blissful moments quickly turn into sorrow. Other times, it leaves both individuals with a feeling of anger. Fighting is healthy for a relationship since it builds trust and a better understanding of your partner. However, too much may lead you into a toxic relationship which may bring you anxiety. “Anxiety is a reaction to a situation we perceive as stressful or dangerous,” Monique Reynolds, Ph.D., licensed clinical psychologist.
It is unfortunate, but not all relationships last. It’s always hard to let go of someone you’ve spent a lot of time and effort. As hard as it is, sometimes, it turns out to be the best decision. Breaking up is not easy, and often, it leaves you with anxiety.
Breaking Up Versus Staying
There is a fine line between hanging onto a relationship and breaking up. If being together is becoming toxic, you should consider breaking up. Staying may only end up breaking you or your partner. To give you some advice, here are four signs to consider.
- You Stay In The Blissful Past
You always end up thinking of the past, those times when you were both so happy. Nothing is changing, and maybe your relationship is getting worse. You are only holding onto it believing in a better future. You hope things will someday go back to how they were when you two first met each other.
However, you should consider living in the present. You need to see how both of you are at the moment. Don’t hold on to memories; make new ones.
- You Feel Drained
After a long day at work, do you still feel that sense of joy when you see your partner? Do you still feel excited to see them again when they come home? You end up feeling scared thinking once you see each other; you’ll only pick up where you left your argument off last night. No matter how many times you fix your misunderstandings, it will always lead back to that. Instead of them making your worries go away, they only end up bringing more to you.
- Bitterness Remains
When couples argue, they usually say things they don’t mean. They end up bursting with emotions and full of anger and resentment. Sometimes, these words or actions leave a scar. Next time you end up arguing, maybe you’d only go back to your previous fights. It leaves you both pulling each other down instead of lifting each other.
- You’re Lying To Yourself
You start turning a blind eye to the negative sides of your partner. You believe things will get better when you know deep inside that it won’t. You only end up telling yourself you’re ok when, in truth, you aren’t. Always consider what your mind tells you. Sometimes, it’s not always about how you feel but what you know.
We Broke Up
Yes, breaking up is not easy. It leaves you with pain, depression, fear, and loneliness. However, one of the worst things it can leave you is anxiety. This anxiety can leave you with a sinking sense of restlessness and uncontrollable feelings of worry.
You also start having difficulties in sleeping and concentrating. It also leaves you very irritable of your surroundings. Here are three of the most effective ways to get over it.
- Reflect On Yourself
During these times, you’d have to get back to yourself. Don’t feel lonely; you have friends and family who are there for you. You should start exercising, set up a healthy diet, or groom yourself. Always remember a healthy body leads to a healthy soul. “Deep diaphragmatic breathing is a powerful anxiety-reducing technique because it activates the body’s relaxation response. It helps the body go from the fight-or-flight response of the sympathetic nervous system to the relaxed response of the parasympathetic nervous system,” said Marla W. Deibler, PsyD
- Look Ahead
Think of where you’ll head next. Maybe this is the chance for you to do things you weren’t able to do when you were in a relationship. Set goals to get you right back on track. Keep yourself busy with these goals. Don’t look back and dash through the future.
- Time And Acceptance
It is probably the most effective solution to breakups. Time does heal; it’s okay to cry, to shout, or to get angry. These are all just a step leading to acceptance. When you’re there at the top accepting everything that happened, you start to recover truly. “When people are anxious, they are usually obsessing about something that might occur in the future,” Tom Corboy, MFT said. “Instead, pause, breathe and pay attention to what’s happening right now,” he said. “Even if something serious is happening, focusing on the present moment will improve your ability to manage the situation,” he added.
Staying in a toxic relationship and breaking up may bring anxiety. The only difference between the two is it is easier to recover when you start anew. Always consider yourself above everything; staying may bring more worries than leaving.