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A Story Of A Wife’s Agonizing Pain Of Having To Live With A Sexually Addicted Husband

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Sex and intimacy are all part of marriage. It is the symbol of love and unity of two unique individuals. Some countries observe a conservative approach when it comes to this topic. Catholic nations denounce sexual intercourse outside marriage, more so with multiple partners. Meanwhile, there are countries which are open-minded about this delicate subject.

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Helping Your Spouse Deal With Depression

Marriage is composed of two unique individuals who came from a different family and had different life experiences. When you get married, it means you are embracing both the good and the bad about your partner. You don’t just call it off because of a mistake, a shortcoming, or a status. Marriage faces different kinds of challenges from within like when the other party is having a mental health condition such as depression.

“Depression is not a weakness of character, laziness, or a phase. Tough love, like telling someone to ‘buck up’ or ‘try harder,’ doesn’t work, and worsens the illness,” says Deborah Serani, PsyD.

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Hey Mom! Taking Care Of Yourself Is How You Take Care Of Your Family

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If you are a woman who has not gone to the salon for ages to have her hair or nails done, salute!

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What A Depressive Husband Sounds Like

Finding a partner in life is crucial in determining your wellbeing. It is vital in keeping you healthy, sane, and successful. If you want to have a peaceful and happy life, you better make sure the partner you get is someone that will bring you positivity in life instead of causing you stress or depression.

“Depression is not a weakness of character, laziness, or a phase. Tough love, like telling someone to ‘buck up’ or ‘try harder,’ doesn’t work, and worsens the illness,” according to Deborah Serani, PsyD.

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Advantages And Disadvantages Of Long Distance Relationships

They say, “Love conquers all,” but does it? How does love work with time apart from each other? Would long-distance relationships last longer than when you are physically together? How do couples make it work when they could not see or touch each other?

“A long-distance relationship or LDR is typically an intimate relationship that takes place when the partners are separated by a considerable distance. No one is geographically undesirable anymore but many are geographically challenged with the goal of maintaining love at a distance.”Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP.

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Psychiatry: Marriage Causing Mental Illness (You Need To End It)

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“Acknowledging the relationship was no longer working can be difficult and walking away even harder,” says counselor Victoria Gigante, Ed.M.

An unhealthy relationship can cause too much emotional stress that possibly links to some severe mental illness. It will affect all the areas of your life and turn it upside down. It can damage your social interaction, self-worth, self-confidence, and productivity. That is why psychiatrists tend to explain why it is necessary to understand the need for courage when it’s time to end the marriage.

 

Unbalanced Relationship

Being stuck in a relationship that hinders you from developing a confident personality is a sign that you should end the marriage. When one or both of you don’t contribute to the growth of your partner anymore, your marriage tends to get stuck in problematic situations over and over again. Your argument about little things can cause both of your time and effort that will eventually end up wasted. Your marriage will become the definition of difficulties that seem to be unmanageable. You will ultimately feel less appreciated and unloved.

“Breaking up can be a really difficult decision. You can look at a relationship from outside and say you have some really unsolvable problems, you should break up’ but from the inside that is a really difficult thing to do and the longer you’ve been in a relationship, the harder it seems to be.”Samantha Joel, PhD.

At most times, you will have this struggle in keeping yourself together. You end up ignoring plans and start to go on a different path. It is complicated since married couples should know how to compromise. When you happen to have an honest conversation and realize that a stable future is unrealistic, then it’s time to let go. There is no reason for you to keep yourself strangled by the idea that marriage is always perfect. You need to consider your emotional happiness as well.

 

Deteriorating Health

Your marriage should have to be the reason for your complete wellbeing. Though it is normal to experience several misunderstandings, it shouldn’t put you in a position that you can no longer function. When you feel the extreme pressure of maintaining your emotional equilibrium and mental responsiveness, then you are not healthy anymore. If you struggle to identify your personality and feel like you’re losing control over yourself, then you need to breakthrough. The shame, guilt, anxiety, and pressure will not only make it impossible for you to keep going, but it’ll also drastically damage your wellbeing in no time.

 

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Negative Impact

When you’re marriage is not positively affecting your life, then it’s time for you to pull yourself out. The kind of relationship that hinders you from becoming productive will soon create a different version of yourself. You’ll become more insensitive, paranoid, afraid, depressed, and sometimes suicidal. Your family and friends may also suffer from the stress that your marriage can give you. In severe cases, you may tend to lose your own identity because of the pain and suffering.

 

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You may suffer a lot from those uncomfortable feelings that contribute to damaging effects, but you have to pull yourself and try harder to stay on track. It may take you a while to realize the need for ending a relationship, but factors that continuously damage your emotional and psychological health are enough reason to get out of the situation. Remember that you are supposed to feel loved and not to be dragged down.

Advocate on mental health, online depression community creator, and Special Advisor to the Johns Hopkins Mood Disorder Center, Therese Borchard says, “I realize the most difficult task for a person with a broken heart is to stand still and feel the crack. But that is exactly what she must do. Because no shortcut is without its share of obstructions. Here’s a simple fact: You have to grieve in order to move on.”

 

Sexual Addiction Strikes A Marriage – What To Do?

Everything Is Not As It Seems

 I believed that our life was perfect. We were young, supposedly happy, a great business giving us financial comfort, and our third child was on the way. Everything was just bliss. Nothing could go wrong, or so I thought.

My ex-boyfriend, who is now my husband, even defended me to his tiger mom. We were just 18 when we learned that I was pregnant. All throughout our relationship of two years, his mom and aunts were against us. They were even harassing me and telling me to let go of their “prince,” the heir to their business and family name. He came from a very influential family, and of course, certain things were expected of him. It wasn’t anticipated from him that he would impregnate a regular girl from a typical family – that’s me.

And so, when we learned of the fruit of our love growing inside, we eloped and only returned when his family (mainly his mom) agreed that we get married. Fairytale story, huh? It was at first, but when you are young and forced into a situation that you are not ready for, consequences abound. Our wedding was grand, and the most important people in our city became our godparents.

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The Best Wedding Ever

They went all out with our wedding. It was lovely. My gown was made of the most exquisite silk and chiffon from Italy, with Swarovski crystals, of course. It was handmade by the best seamstress in the city and designed the country’s top fashion designer for the celebrities. We held the wedding at a 7-star hotel partly owned by their family, and yes, everything was just faultless.

At 18, we had our own house named after my husband, and a part of their business was given to him as his bread and butter. We were having the time of our lives. Little did I know that our life will be a roller coaster ride times ten.

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He Can’t Control It

I won’t sugar coat it anymore. My husband had sex with anyone who came his way and was wearing a skirt. The list included his secretary (such a cliché), half of his clients, some of the mothers of his friends, and believe it or not, our nanny. I think that I tried to satisfy his urges, but I’m not enough, I guess. He had to do it every day, and at least twice a day. With my hands full of work and the kids, how can I fulfill his needs?

The priest said, and I committed to those vows – for better or for worse. He is not a terrible person, but he is at his worst right now. His children adore him to bits, and if he is a stupid man, he won’t give his love, time, and effort for them. It’s just that something is wrong with my husband. He likes mature women and would get turned on by the sight of the – tall, dark-haired, sexy, and powerful, mostly. Just like his mother.

I later learned that sex addiction is more than just sex. “Someone with sex addiction isn’t just someone who loves sex. The main symptoms of sex addiction include a loss of control, failed attempts to stop unwanted sexual behavior, and a pattern of negative consequences from anxiety to depression and legal problems.” This was said by Dr. Joe Kort.

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Husband Asked For My Help

He learned of his problem. “Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results,” says Michael Herkov, Ph.D.

Not too long ago he asked me for help. He said he wants to change and I see his remorse. Even if my heart bleeds for his behavior, I compelled myself to help him. We had a discreet meeting with a counselor, and we found out that my husband is a sexual addict, and he may be one of those mother-fixated men.

Current treatment might include, according to Dorothy C. Hayden, LCSW.

participating in a 12-step program;
going to an outpatient clinic;
engaging in aversion therapy; or
using medications to stave off hypersexuality.

Right now, he is under therapy for his compulsive behavioral issues, and I am supporting him in all ways possible. We are still married, and I don’t plan on leaving him. I just pray that he gets better, and will learn how to cope with his disorder.

I’m Trusting Online Therapy Will Save My Marriage

Getting into a relationship is easy. Staying in it is the challenge. In the long run, you will start to realize that it’s not all about the hugs and kisses. Troubles will begin to rise from once small issues surrounding your marriage. Compatibility is an issue no matter how much you deny it. They say “opposites attract.” This statement is believable when you are in high school or early adulthood, but once you reach the age where you are already looking for stability, every detail of a person’s personality is vital, as his priorities and values in life.

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Dear Couples, Argue Your Issues Out!

Study Says Couples Who Argue With Each Other Stay Together Longer

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We see arguing and fighting as synonymous with each other and, at times, they are. However, relationships are a different matter. And, according to experts, the difference between these two words can make your relationship with your spouse or partner last longer, stronger.

“Many hidden reasons can fuel bitter fights. If we are to stop the fighting, we need to understand what each side is protecting or getting out of the fights. Maybe then we can help each of them feel better and then find happier ways to manage their differences.”Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.

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Marriage Counseling Isn’t Just A Lifeline But Also A Helpline

When To Seek Professional Help In Your Marriage

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A couple needs to work on their relationship for their “happily ever after” to happen.

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