Sex and intimacy are all part of marriage. It is the symbol of love and unity of two unique individuals. Some countries observe a conservative approach when it comes to this topic. Catholic nations denounce sexual intercourse outside marriage, more so with multiple partners. Meanwhile, there are countries which are open-minded about this delicate subject.
While most people think infidelity is the primary and frequent challenge in marriages, only a few have thought about the burden of some – having a husband who is sexually addicted.
“Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts,” says Michael Herkov, Ph.D.
The trouble is if the wife does not feel the same way about it. Will their marriage still work?
Mr. and Mrs. Rogers were a respected couple in their neighborhood. Mr. Rogers was a policeman while Mrs. Rogers was a teacher. They couldn’t bear a child, so they decided to adopt. They hired a babysitter to watch over their baby while they were at work. Everything was going well until there were whispers of indecency happening under the roof of the Mr. and Mrs. Rogers.
Some said it all made sense. Their babysitter that time was their fifth as the former ones left suddenly. They said Mr. Rogers had been sexually harassing their babysitters; only not a single one dared to step forward.
“Sex addiction has been called the athlete’s foot of the mind: It is an itch always waiting to be scratched. The scratching, however, causes wounds and never alleviates the itch,” according to Dorothy C. Hayden, LCSW.
The secret started to come out when someone close to the babysitter revealed it. She said her friend, the babysitter, told her all about it and that she was doing some voodoo to steal Mr. Rogers. It turned out she was into him and was enjoying whatever disgusting act they were doing.
When Mrs. Rogers learned of this, she immediately sent away the babysitter and confronted his husband. She then heard from his mouth that all the rumors were true. Her husband admitted to having sexual fantasies with other women, and it was like a fire burning inside him if he couldn’t make it happen, so there were times he made it possible even without a woman – He admitted to having sexual intercourse with a man. He said these horrible things happen in jail where he worked.
Out of shock, Mrs. Rogers hurriedly left home with their adopted child. She feared for her safety, and at the same time, she was tormented by the unexpected revelations which never in a million years she thought were possible.
Years passed, and Mr. Rogers knocked on her door begging to stay. He said he had help, and that he was a changed man. Unfortunately, Mrs. Rogers was still haunted by the thought of what had happened in the past. She has never forgiven and forgotten.
Sex, being a complicated subject for many, can be the hardest thing to endure for some, particularly for those who have experienced a traumatic story involving it. It may be one of the essential elements that a married couple shares; sometimes, it could be the ultimate thing that could ruin a relationship or even a person mentally. “While the sexually addicted partner must assume responsibility for his behavior in order to regain the trust of his partner, the victimized partner must learn how to trust him again, which is never easy. However, with patience and commitment, it can be done,” according to Dr. Joe Kort.
Infidelity is a hurtful word, and if you were Mrs. Rogers who had experienced it in a more perplexed manner, will you still be able to forgive?