Monthly Archives: April 2019

Getting Rid Of Anxiety From Breakups

Relationships bring both joy and depression. When we are enjoying our time with our romantic partner, our world appears to be very colorful. But when couples argue, those blissful moments quickly turn into sorrow. Other times, it leaves both individuals with a feeling of anger. Fighting is healthy for a relationship since it builds trust and a better understanding of your partner. However, too much may lead you into a toxic relationship which may bring you anxiety.

It is unfortunate, but not all relationships last. It’s always hard to let go of someone you’ve spent a lot of time and effort. As hard as it is, sometimes, it turns out to be the best decision. Breaking up is not easy, and often, it leaves you with anxiety.

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Breaking Up Versus Staying

There is a fine line between hanging onto a relationship and breaking up. If being together is becoming toxic, you should consider breaking up. Staying may only end up breaking you or your partner. To give you some advice, here are four signs to consider.

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  • You Stay In The Blissful Past

You always end up thinking of the past, those times when you were both so happy. Nothing is changing, and maybe your relationship is getting worse. You are only holding onto it believing in a better future. You hope things will someday go back to how they were when you two first met each other.

However, you should consider living in the present. You need to see how both of you are at the moment. Don’t hold on to memories; make new ones.

  • You Feel Drained

After a long day at work, do you still feel that sense of joy when you see your partner? Do you still feel excited to see them again when they come home? You end up feeling scared thinking once you see each other; you’ll only pick up where you left your argument off last night. No matter how many times you fix your misunderstandings, it will always lead back to that. Instead of them making your worries go away, they only end up bringing more to you.

  • Bitterness Remains

When couples argue, they usually say things they don’t mean. They end up bursting with emotions and full of anger and resentment. Sometimes, these words or actions leave a scar. Next time you end up arguing, maybe you’d only go back to your previous fights. It leaves you both pulling each other down instead of lifting each other.

  • You’re Lying To Yourself

You start turning a blind eye to the negative sides of your partner. You believe things will get better when you know deep inside that it won’t. You only end up telling yourself you’re ok when, in truth, you aren’t. Always consider what your mind tells you. Sometimes, it’s not always about how you feel but what you know.

We Broke Up

Yes, breaking up is not easy. It leaves you with pain, depression, fear, and loneliness. However, one of the worst things it can leave you is anxiety. This anxiety can leave you with a sinking sense of restlessness and uncontrollable feelings of worry.

You also start having difficulties in sleeping and concentrating. It also leaves you very irritable of your surroundings. Here are three of the most effective ways to get over it.

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  • Reflect On Yourself

During these times, you’d have to get back to yourself. Don’t feel lonely; you have friends and family who are there for you. You should start exercising, set up a healthy diet, or groom yourself. Always remember a healthy body leads to a healthy soul.

  • Look Ahead

Think of where you’ll head next. Maybe this is the chance for you to do things you weren’t able to do when you were in a relationship. Set goals to get you right back on track. Keep yourself busy with these goals. Don’t look back and dash through the future.

  • Time And Acceptance

It is probably the most effective solution to breakups. Time does heal; it’s okay to cry, to shout, or to get angry. These are all just a step leading to acceptance. When you’re there at the top accepting everything that happened, you start to recover truly.

Staying in a toxic relationship and breaking up may bring anxiety. The only difference between the two is it is easier to recover when you start anew. Always consider yourself above everything; staying may bring more worries than leaving.

My Husband Cheated – Why The Hell Should I Forgive?

 

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When you find out that your husband has been cheating on you, your emotions will all be full of hatred and pain. Your heart and soul screams hate and you want nothing more but to punish and plan your sweet revenge. The anxiety, frustration, and anger wake you up from your sleep and you vow never to forgive. Right at that very moment, it is very difficult to let go of these emotions.

Indeed, it’s easier said than done, but a majority of mental health experts and individuals who were cheated on say that forgiveness actually benefits the person without fault more than the cheating partner. The negative feelings you feel because of the infidelity are like poison to the body and mind, and forgiveness is apparently the antidote – the solution to getting rid of the poison within.

But how can you forgive? Let us try to understand what forgiveness means and how we are able to achieve it.

What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiving a cheating husband doesn’t mean that you assure him that you are going to forget about what he did. It doesn’t even mean that you’re staying in the marriage if you don’t want to. This is about how you feel about your partner and your internal emotions.

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A mental health professional defines forgiveness as stopping the feeling of resentment towards an offender. He emphasizes, though, that the act of forgiving is not actually for the offender but for you, the individual who got hurt, cheated, and is now holding the resentment. It is part of the individual’s journey towards recovery and healing after being hurt by someone that you truly love. It is moving on after being humiliated and disrespected, so much so that your physical, emotional, and mental health is at the risk of failing.

How Will Forgiving Help Me?

Again, forgiving is not about the cheater but more about the offended – you. And because of this, forgiving can benefit you more than you realize.

  • One Step Towards Believing Again. If there is a little part of you that wants to rebuild your marriage after the infidelity, you will need to trust your husband again. Infidelity destroys a person’s capacity to trust, and forgiving helps rebuild that. If you can’t do that, you may carry the hurt and grudge, affecting your character negatively, even rubbing the dishonesty on you.

 

  • Resenting Is Mentally Draining. When your mind is full of thoughts about cheating and how to get back at your husband, there’ll be no space left for positivity. Eventually, these thoughts will consume you and you will be damaged physically and mentally. Releasing the resentment will allow you to hope and be encouraged that things will be better tomorrow. Maybe not for you and your husband but for you at least, initially. Dwelling on anger, shame, and revenge will never let you move on.

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  • Forgiving Is Healthy. Forgiving is a healthy way of feeding compassion, love, and respect to the soul. It promotes mental and emotional wellness. It also improves your health because it lowers blood pressure, reduces stress and anxiety levels, decreases symptoms of depression, boosts the immune system, increases self-esteem, and improves heart health.

Should I Stay In The Marriage?

Before answering this in your mind, think about the strength of your relationship. If it was built from a weak foundation, then it cannot withstand the infidelity and you might as well leave and save both you and your husband from more pain and hostility. To be fair to your husband, the cheater, you also need to tell him that you might never forgive him, or not for a long time at least.

However, if you are one of the wives or individuals who are willing to forgive and release the anger, hurt, and resentment for a better life, then continue reading.

How Do I Forgive?

Forgiving your husband is going to be the hardest part of this advice. Even if you’ve decided to take that step of forgiveness, it seems so difficult to do. If all else fails, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.

Therapy is a vital step towards the journey to forgiveness. Counseling will depend on which path you took. If you decided to end your marriage, then individual counseling will work best for you. If you opted to give your marriage another go, then you can try couples counseling. Whichever type of counseling you choose, the results are all worth it.

In therapy, it is important to realize that the therapist won’t erase all your problems in one flip of his wand. As a couple, you should work with the therapist in slowly but surely opening up, releasing your emotions, and starting the journey of healing and reconciliation.

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There is freedom in forgiveness, that’s what experts say – freedom from the ill feelings that will drag you down to your misery and failure. Take that big step now and find out for yourself. It might be your ticket to a happier you.